


Invisible Fortress

by ideallyqualia



Series: Rare Pairs [25]
Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Canon Universe, Comedy, Final Haikyuu Quest, HQ Rarepair Week, M/M, Pre-Relationship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-03-26
Updated: 2015-03-26
Packaged: 2018-03-19 17:15:24
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,519
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3617826
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ideallyqualia/pseuds/ideallyqualia
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Ennoshita invited everyone to act out a home movie. He didn't have a script for them, but he had character profiles written up. Which no one should be looking at.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Invisible Fortress

**Author's Note:**

> For the rare pair week day 2 prompt: language.

Trustwas something Ennoshita probably had too much of. Maybe he lacked discipline, or he just wasn't intimidating enough, but he thought his faith wasn't misplaced when he placed a note on top of his folder,  _don't touch_.   

"Hinata, have you seen a folder around here?" Ennoshita asked. Hinata was brandishing a plastic sword around Kageyama, coming close to touching him but not actually touching. Kageyama stood with a scowl.

"No. What folder?" Hinata asked. He didn't stop waving his sword.

"It's not important, but I'm pretty sure that I didn't move it."

"I have no idea what you're talking about."

Kageyama's hand flew out as Hinata talked, and he grabbed the part of the hilt that Hinata's hands weren't covering. "Stop doing that, or I'll get a real sword."

Ennoshita didn't know why Kageyama agreed to help out with this movie. He invited Oikawa, too, and he even cast Kageyama as the head of a mutinous army, and Kageyama didn't leave. Ennoshita kept their real life traits to help them act, but he didn't think Kageyama's part through. Kageyama already shrugged and accepted after Ennoshita realized that Kageyama's role was a little cruel, and Kageyama didn't sound offended, so Ennoshita left the topic alone.

Another surprise was Kenma's appearance. Although he was quiet, he was really into his role. Kenma even seemed pleased to be fighting against Kuroo.

"I haven't seen it, either," Kenma said. Instead of asking what it was for, Kenma stepped around Ennoshita to join Hinata and Kageyama, tapping his staff on Kageyama's shoulder and making him jolt.

Ennoshita walked around a little more, and he felt someone tug on his sleeve.

"Can we actually act now?" Nishinoya asked.

"We wanna kick pretty boy butt," Tanaka said, pointing at Oikawa and Kuroo and nodding alongside Nishinoya. 

Oikawa and Kuroo didn't notice. They were huddled around a crystal ball, and Kuroo was swishing his hands over it.

Ennoshita sighed. "Fine. But you're going to help me look for it afterward."

Ennoshita tried to hide his frustration with that demand, but he was cringing on the inside. He didn't feel like writing real scripts for anyone, especially when it'd be a chore for them to memorize anything, so he wrote down what he wanted from their characters. He told them some of it, and he kept the rest to himself. There were jokes on the pages, but there was also something embarrassing he should've never written down, surrounded by other scribbles in the middle of the notes.

With the camera set up on a tripod, it couldn't catch everything going on unless someone moved it around. Ennoshita didn't think anyone cared, though. He didn't think they even realized that they were just role playing on film.

Kageyama attempted to shoot an arrow, and that was terrifying enough to make everyone duck. It was a toy arrow, but Ennoshita and Suga were too entertained to inform anyone. Daichi was the one who bought it, and he still flinched when he tried to creep close enough to throw a plush animal in as an enemy for them to attack.

Oikawa and Kuroo stood next to Ennoshita and watched Hinata swing his sword clumsily. Kageyama's criticisms of his swordplay were real, but otherwise they were both terrible actors, even without being tethered to a script.

"I'm almost offended that these two have to be the ones to defeat me," Oikawa said. He pressed a thumb to his mouth and dipped his head down.

Kuroo clapped a hand on Oikawa's shoulder. "Iwaizumi's with them."

"Iwa-chan made himself almost die from that last attack from…whatever that thing was. What happened again, Enno?"

Ennoshita snorted, his hand over his mouth to laugh quietly. Oikawa was right, Iwaizumi almost died. Hinata made a horrible wail in mourning, and Aone pretended to pick herbs to heal Iwaizumi. He was just plucking the air near the ground, but Kenma followed him and crouched to do the same. Hinata expressed confusion since there weren't any plant props, so he forgot he was pretending to cry. Iwaizumi was lying on the floor with his hand over his side, trying to grimace but failing, and Kageyama stood over him with his arms crossed, unimpressed.

"I didn't even tell Iwaizumi to do that," Ennoshita said, his hand still over his mouth.

"Yeah, I don't understand that, either," Kuroo said.

"I don't want Iwa-chan to kill himself off before we even meet."

Kuroo gestured at them. "They look better now, sort of. I think now's the time for me to jump in."

When he stepped on the "stage," Hinata hit him. Actually hit him, he swung his sword and a piece flew off from the impact. Kuroo grunted and clutched his shoulder, stumbling and almost falling.

"This isn't how you fight villains! You're supposed to talk first!" Kuroo moved his shoulder in a circle and rubbed it.

"Want an herb?" Kenma extended an empty hand.

" _No_." Kuroo swatted his hand away.

Kuroo ended up fighting them while complaining, throwing things as if they were homing spells condensed into toy balls. They bounced off of everyone in Hinata's party, but Kuroo was clearly aiming at just Hinata. Iwaizumi managed to deflect them with his sword, and Hinata simply slid around to avoid them. Until he decided to spike them. 

Kuroo raised a fist, a ball in his other hand. "This isn't volleyball!"

Kageyama's head shot up at that. He watched Kuroo chuck another ball, and then he leaned down to pick some up. He tossed them, none of them missing Kuroo's head, and Kuroo ran away while yelling and ducking.

"Amateurs," Oikawa coughed. 

"I thought Iwaizumi was fine. He even hit them with his sword," Ennoshita said. 

Oikawa patted Ennoshita's back. "Don't worry, I'll show them. I'm the only one who can bring a modicum of seriousness to this." Oikawa pressed his thumb and ring finger together in a circle, raising his hand to reassure Ennoshita with the gesture.

"No, don't  _show_  them. You're supposed to lose."

Hinata raised his hand. "Can we take a break?" 

"We didn't even get to do anything!" Nishinoya angrily waved back at Hinata, but Ennoshita agreed and paused the camera.

"Tanaka, Nishinoya, can you come over here? It'll only take a minute." Ennoshita gave them a sharp smile, and they trudged up to him.

"What?" Tanaka asked. "Can we fight them now?" 

Ennoshita tilted his head. "Have you seen my folder?"

They glanced at each other, too blankly for them to demonstrate that they knew, and they shrugged.

"It's still no," Nishinoya said. "Sorry. Have you asked the others?"

"I…should, but if you do find it, don't open it. Alright? I trust you two, anyway."

Tanaka nodded, and Nishinoya saluted.

Ennoshita didn't know if he should even ask Kuroo and Oikawa, but he did. Kuroo was trying to talk and lean an elbow on Kenma's shoulder, and Kenma's grip on his staff looked tight as he bristled from Kuroo's shifting.

Kuroo shrugged when Ennoshita asked. "I think I saw Oikawa with a piece of paper earlier?"

"Oikawa?" Ennoshita squinted. "What kind of paper?"

"How should I know?"

Kenma slipped out from under Kuroo's arm, lifting his staff off the floor to run, and Kuroo fumbled from it. Ennoshita heard Kuroo call for Kenma, but he had already turned his back to hone in on Oikawa. Oikawa was tugging on Kageyama's quiver, jostling it enough to spill arrows.

"Oops." Oikawa brushed a hand to his forehead. "My bad?"

When Kageyama bent to collect them, Oikawa kicked his foot out to knock them away, and he gave another dubious apology.

"Okay, Oikawa, I need to talk with you."

Kageyama snorted. He shifted into coughing when Oikawa's eyes flickered to Kageyama for a moment.

"What is it? I'm not doing anything wrong." 

Ennoshita tilted his head to eye Kageyama clutching arrows. "Clearly. But really, I want to know. Have you seen a folder around here? I think I lost it."

Oikawa turned his nose to the air. "Oh. What a shame. Wouldn't want people to see that, hm?"

Ennoshita stepped up and grabbed Oikawa's collar. "What."

"I was looking for--" 

"Where is it  _now_?"

Hinata was walking by when Ennoshita hissed, and he tapped his sword onto Ennoshita's arm. "You need this more than I do," he said with wide eyes. 

Ennoshita removed his hands to return the sword to Hinata, and Oikawa stepped back.

"Oikawa, what'd you do with it?"

Oikawa scratched his forehead, lips quirked in amusement. That could've been because Kageyama just dropped all his arrows again after bumping into Tanaka, but Ennoshita wasn't sure.

"I'm a serious actor. Doing something in character shouldn't be so surprising."

That was a terribly useless clue, and Ennoshita was tempted to point that out, but Nishinoya was starting to complain again. Kenma was looking at Ennoshita hopefully, too. He gave in and turned the camera back on.

Tanaka and Nishinoya didn't fight Hinata. They just talked about Kiyoko on stage and then left. Ennoshita could see the disappointment reflected in Hinata's eyes, but Hinata didn't say anything. Iwaizumi looked indifferent to it, but he groaned when Oikawa decided to appear. 

"At last, you've made it to my castle!" Oikawa flourished his arms and cape, and they glanced around.

"There's nothing here," Kenma said.

Oikawa waved his arms more. "It's called  _imagination._ And also, Ennoshita didn't have a castle lying around."

Hinata pretended to push at a wall in the air. His eyes trailed to the floor, hand still hanging. "Your castle's falling apart."

 Oikawa stepped forward in a quick, slight lunge, and Hinata yelped in surprise. His sword clattered to the floor.

Kuroo picked it up and lowered the edge to Hinata's neck. "What  _will_ you do now, heroes?"

Ennoshita raised an eyebrow. "Don't kill off Hinata. You're not even supposed to be the one to face them in the end, Kuroo."

"No, this is how video games work. You fight two bosses at once for the ultimate battle. Kenma made me play, so I'd know." Kuroo waggled his sword. 

"And stop talking, director!" Oikawa extended his arm, hand in a fist with a finger pointed at Iwaizumi. "Or handsome man here is next!" 

Iwaizumi lowered his sword. "What?" 

Ennoshita's neck burned. "Did you  _read it_?!"

"Read what?" Oikawa asked innocently. His face fell when Ennoshita stomped up to them, arms swinging with his pace.

Oikawa wrenched the sword from Kuroo's grasp. "I'm armed!"

Iwaizumi leaned forward, holding his fake sword by its blade with the hilt facing up. "Just take it."

"I'm not going to fight Oikawa." Ennoshita bit his lip and accepted it when Iwaizumi leaned more with insistence. Ennoshita pulled away quickly after receiving it, turning to face Oikawa instead of looking at Iwaizumi. The hilt was still warm, and his hand curled around it. He was uncomfortable with the thought of Iwaizumi's hand being here just a few seconds ago, but he felt heated enough to slash at Oikawa.

"Chikara's really mad! Is the camera still going?!" Nishinoya whipped his head to Daichi, and Daichi gave a thumbs up.

"Iwa-chan, don't root for him!" Oikawa protested. He snapped his sword to the side, clipping Ennoshita's sword but not doing more than shaking Ennoshita's hand out of balance.

"Where is it, Oikawa? What'd you do with it?"

"Unauthorized swordsmen shouldn't be allowed to duel with a king!"

Hinata pointed at Oikawa's horns from where the others were standing. "Do demons use swords?"

"Demons aren't even real," Kageyama snapped.

"Are you saying he's  _not_ a demon?" Iwaizumi asked. "He nicknamed everyone's contacts in my phone last month. I couldn't call the right person for days."

Oikawa's demon horns were starting to slip off his head. When he paused to rearrange it, Ennoshita raised his sword and hit him on the head with the flat side.

"You're so mean! I'm glad we've never met on the court!" Oikawa brought his sword down, and it whacked Ennoshita in the leg.

Ennoshita glanced down at Oikawa's own leg. He meant to move his sword, but his foot lifted instead, and he kicked Oikawa in the shin.

Oikawa dropped his sword to fold his leg up and clutch it. "Oo _oow_!" Oikawa hopped on his foot. "What was that for?"

Ennoshita stepped on the displaced sword, and he gestured at Oikawa with the one still in his hands. "Hand it over." 

"No!" Oikawa hopped a few more times, and when his leg was well enough to stretch back to the ground, Oikawa added dramatically, "It's all in Iwa-chan's hands now."

Iwaizumi raised his empty hands. "What are you talking about?" 

"Is that what you put in Iwaizumi's backpack?" Suga asked. "Did it belong to Ennoshita?"

Kuroo froze as Oikawa and Ennoshita raced past him, running up to Iwaizumi's backpack on the floor near everyone else's belongings. Iwaizumi took off, too, and the three of them grabbed the straps and zippers. 

"Oikawa, I swear to god, what did you put in my backpack?"

Ennoshita snatched his hand back when it bumped into Iwaizumi's arm, and Oikawa stepped over more to take his place.

"Iwa-chan, you might as well read it now. Enno here wrote something with your name on it."

Ennoshita elbowed Oikawa in the stomach,  _hard,_ and Oikawa coughed and backed off. It gave Iwaizumi enough room to unzip the backpack and pull out a slip of paper unfamiliar to him.

Iwaizumi turned it over. "What is this?"

Ennoshita tore it out of his hands, and it ripped across the middle. Ennoshita flicked his eyes down, but he paled when he noticed that Iwaizumi had the important piece.

Oikawa burst out laughing. "You should see the looks on your faces! You're so red, Iwa-chan!" 

Iwaizumi was red, but he was also quiet. He folded the paper and tightened his mouth. "Is this a joke, Oikawa?" he asked lowly.

"If joke's spelled out with an 'l' and a 'v,' then yes." Oikawa turned to Ennoshita. "By the way, Iwa-chan's the one who wanted to come in the first place. In case you were wondering." 

Iwaizumi looked up at Ennoshita, his mouth tighter as he exhaled through his nose. He didn't deny it.

Suga whispered to Daichi. "This is a completely different movie than what we started with." Suga turned the camera when he saw them run, so the whole thing was on tape.

"Does someone have a pen? Wait, Iwa-chan probably does." Oikawa dug in his backpack and fished one out. He scribbled something on a scrap of paper as Ennoshita and Iwaizumi watched. Iwaizumi coughed into his arm, and Ennoshita was knocking his hands together, his skin prickling.

Oikawa slapped the paper into Ennoshita's hands. "I concede my throne. As Grand King, I--"

"Step out of character," Iwaizumi said. "Now."

Oikawa's shoulders fell, and his mouth slipped into a pout. "Fine. Here, take his number. Iwa-chan's too shy to do it himself."

Ennoshita crinkled it in his hands, and he nodded with a mumble, his eyes on the floor.

Hinata leaned to Kenma. "What did the paper even say?"

**Author's Note:**

> If FHQ is [actually set in canon](http://kurootetsunya.tumblr.com/post/112462316273), directed and produced by Ennoshita, then…where did "handsome man" come from? *x files whistling* (yes iwa was called a handsome man on the paper)
> 
> (General A/N that exists at the end of all my fics): I find unsolicited concrit really rude, I'm not looking for any. Please don't tell me someone was OOC/something happened you didn't like/it's too short/etc. in any bookmarks or comments.


End file.
